Guide to Writing a Meaningful Eulogy
Funerals often have a familiar rhythm. Nowadays, people are starting to think a little more out of the box, but there are some elements that last. You usually hear readings from Scripture or poems, prayers led by clergy, hymns or songs sung, and perhaps a slideshow or photos. All these elements help guide the ceremony, offering structure in a time that can feel chaotic and raw. But for many people, the thought of giving a eulogy, the part where you speak about your loved one, is the most intimidating. Suddenly, you’re expected to capture a whole life in a few minutes, to put into words the love, the laughter, the lessons, and the legacy. It can feel overwhelming, even impossible, and that’s where guidance from a skilled funeral celebrant can make all the difference.
A father and son read a eulogy together.
What a Eulogy Is (and Isn’t)
A eulogy is more than words; it’s a gift. It’s a way to pause, to honor, and to make sense of a life that mattered. It’s a chance to share the full story of who someone really was. You can share about their laughter, their lessons, their quirks, and their impact on the people they loved. A good eulogy isn’t about perfection or performance; it’s about connection.
What a eulogy is not is a résumé or a list of accomplishments. It’s not meant to cover every moment of a life or sound like a history lesson. It’s also not a time to pretend someone was flawless or to say what we think people “should” hear. The most moving eulogies are honest, heartfelt, and human. They acknowledge the full truth of who they were. The beauty, the challenges, and the stories that made them… them.
Writing a eulogy can feel overwhelming. Where do you start? What do you say? How do you capture someone’s essence without feeling like you’re missing pieces? This is exactly where working with a funeral celebrant can help. Celebrants are trained in guiding families through reflection, memory-gathering, and story organization. We can help you find the words that matter most and then, if desired, we can deliver the eulogy for your family, reading it with care so that everyone present can fully honor and remember their loved one.
Tips for Writing a Eulogy
When it comes to crafting a eulogy, the focus should be on the person’s life, character, and the impact they had on others. Think anecdotes that reveal personality. You can write about their funny quirks, memorable habits, and lessons learned along the way. Humor is allowed. Tears are allowed. Honesty is essential. You don’t have to paint a perfect picture; you can celebrate the whole, rich, sometimes messy life that was lived. The goal is authenticity over perfection.
Family Involvement
A eulogy doesn’t have to be written alone, and in fact, it often becomes richer when family and friends are invited to contribute. Sharing stories, letters, favorite quotes, or even little quirks can create a layered, meaningful portrait of the person you loved. When a funeral celebrant guides this process, we make sense of all the voices, weaving them together so the eulogy flows and truly captures the essence of the life being honored.
These storytelling sessions aren’t just about gathering material; they’re about connection. They give families a safe space to reflect, share, and remember together, while also making sure that sharing is supportive rather than a chance to rehash trauma. By telling the full story, the joys, the struggles, the humor, the lessons, we see the person more fully, as they were in life, and we allow ourselves to grieve and celebrate in a healthy, meaningful way. Participating in this process often strengthens bonds, mends old wounds, and leaves families feeling more at peace and connected to each other than they might have been in years.
10 Tips for Writing a Meaningful Eulogy
If you are going to write a eulogy yourself, here are some practical considerations that can make the writing and delivery smoother:
Start with standout memories – Focus on moments that truly capture their personality.
Include humor – Lighthearted stories help balance grief and celebrate life.
Highlight character traits – What made them who they were? Kindness, curiosity, resilience?
Gather input from others – Invite family or friends to share anecdotes or letters.
Be honest, not idealized – Celebrate the whole life, including quirks and imperfections.
Use a theme – Connect stories, music, and readings with a central idea.
Keep it concise – 10–15 minutes is usually the sweet spot.
Practice aloud – Helps with timing, flow, and emotional delivery.
Include meaningful quotes or poetry – Adds depth and connection to the message.
Pause and feel – Let the stories breathe; allow space for reflection and connection.
A well-crafted eulogy ensures that a loved one’s story is not only heard but remembered, honored, and celebrated. With the support of a funeral celebrant, families can navigate the tender, sometimes overwhelming work of reflection and expression. Words alone might feel insufficient at times, yet when guided thoughtfully, they can hold grief, laughter, and love all at once, creating something deeply comforting and lasting.
If you are planning a funeral in New Jersey or Philadelphia and would like guidance in creating a meaningful, personalized ceremony or writing a heartfelt eulogy, I’m here to help. Reach out to me at End of Life Clarity. Together, we can honor your loved one’s life in a way that truly reflects who they were.
Glossary
Funeral Celebrant: A trained professional who helps families create ceremonies that reflect the unique life of the person who has died. Celebrants guide the ceremony, suggest readings, music, and rituals, and may help write or deliver a eulogy.
Eulogy: A speech or tribute shared at a funeral to honor and remember someone who has died. It focuses on their personality, life experiences, and the impact they had on others, not just their achievements.
Storytelling Session: A meeting where family and friends share memories, anecdotes, or favorite moments about the person who has died. These stories are collected to help shape a meaningful ceremony or eulogy.
For more information:
Legacy.com – examples of eulogies and obituary writing tips
Poets.org – poetry that can be used in eulogies or ceremonies
National Funeral Directors Association – guidance for families planning funerals
